I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
