My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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