yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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