i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
