Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
