I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
