We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she smelled like a LAN party
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
