Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got inside last night via doggy door
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
