was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack