i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.