A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out