My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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