We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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