I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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