you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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