Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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