I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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