wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize