I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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