I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
