Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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