This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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