Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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