you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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