My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
