we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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