he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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