dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
