So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
