Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
