you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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