If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
