Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
