You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
