There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
