I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
