am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize