My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
