Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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