Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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