How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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