i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
