the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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