Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
