If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
