and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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