sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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