i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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