Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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