So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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