and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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