Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Actions speak louder than pants.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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