My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
