It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
