at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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