also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now