I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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