I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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