apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
not ubering you a puppy
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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