is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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