just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
