I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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