Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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