Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
