I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
