nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize