i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
