sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she peed on how many people?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
