i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
