its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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