he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
