I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
