they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize