Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
