There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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