dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
